My bestie sent over the entire Sailor Moon Funko Pop collection to me recently. I know, right? So freaking awesome. They look so damn cool. Well, it inspired me to want to watch Sailor Moon again… but specifically the dubbed version (sorry, I cannot stand subtitles) that I watched on Cartoon Network when I was a kid. I set out to find it and apparently you can watch the whole thing on Hulu. Score!
But… Sailor Moon isn’t quite what I remember it to be.
Several episodes into the original run of Sailor Moon, a light bulb came on and I was like “I have GOT to blog about this!” because I kept literally laughing out loud while I watched. No… not because it was actually funny, but because some things were so ridiculous and I couldn’t believe I was even watching it. So these are actual things I thought or even said aloud to Jeremy the many times I ran out of my office “You aren’t going to believe this…”
Please excuse my language…
What the fuck? I don’t remember the voices being so American… or whiny for that matter.
I know Usagi (Sailor Moon) is constantly described as an emotional cry-baby… I just don’t remember it being so bad. And I really don’t remember her dub being quite so American. Maybe it’s because I’m older and have watched more anime since then. Seriously… at one point I was sure that she was voiced by the same person who voiced Quinn Morgendorffer on Daria. But apparently she’s not.
Damn, Luna is such a BITCH!
I said this more times than I can recall. Not that her tough love wasn’t often warranted… but sometimes she just took it way too damn far. Usagi is all of 14 years old. #LetKidsBeKids or something like that. She was really hard on her and sometimes borderline cruel. That leads me to…
Did they seriously just fat shame!?
I know in the 80’s and 90’s every girl still wanted to be Twiggy thin, but the fat shaming in one of the episodes really took me by surprise. Not only do Usagi and her friends basically brush off a clearly more plumply drawn character, Luna actually tells Usagi “Maybe if you didn’t eat so much, you wouldn’t have gained so much weight!” And then… shows her a picture she drew of Sailor Moon all fat. What in the actual fuck?
Did Sailor Mars just curse!?
Never mind my foul mouth… because Sailor Mars clearly says ‘Damn’ at one point in the show. Not that this is a big deal by today’s standards. But for a cartoon in the 90’s!? HUGE!
I love how everyone but Sailor Moon knows instantly how to use their powers and what to say.
Did anyone else catch that? I get it… we’d be here all day if we had to go through the learning stages with every Sailor Guardian, but I thought it funny how both Mars and Mercury were just like ‘Oh… it’s a talking cat. Okay, I’ll take your pen and shout words.’ and then suddenly, without any prompting at all… they know exactly what powers they have and how to activate them.
How does Mars even run in those heels?
For serious. I can’t even walk in heels and yet she just runs around in them like it’s no big deal. I’d bust my ass.
Damn. Tuxedo Mask is still hot. HeeHee His stick just grew!
I seriously said that out loud. I’m not ashamed either. There’s still something oddly attractive about the way Mamoru teases Usagi and the way he speaks to Sailor Moon when he’s Tuxedo Mask. *swoon*
Wait, what? Mamoru is in COLLEGE? Usagi is 14… what?
Okay so logically, Mamoru could be maybe 18 to Usagi’s 14 and in the grand scheme of things their age difference is no big deal. But I watched this as an eleven year old. Kind of weird now thinking about it – because Usagi is also in love with Mamoru’s friend who is also in college. She’s still a child to their young adult.
Haha Look at Mars… scheming on Tuxedo Mask. Back off you silly bitch – he isn’t going to be with you!
Having seen Sailor Moon before, I already had a general understanding of what was meant to happen and that Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask were destined to be together. This made re-watching especially funny whenever Mars was all dreamy-eyed over him.
OMG Be together already!
My inner teenager came out in episode 17. This is around the time Usagi and Mamoru start to remember bits of their past and start to acknowledge feelings for one another. I was losing my mind at this point, yelling at my tablet (which I was conveniently watching it on while I pretended to work).
Ugh. Yes, we know what your transformation looks like. Geez.
I swear, about half of the show is watching Usagi transform into Sailor Moon. I get it..it cuts down a little on needed animation and it probably wasn’t so bad when kids were watching 1 episode per week. But binge watching made the transformation incredibly annoying. But on that note, Sailor Mercury’s transformation will always be my favorite.
What is with the crazy age gaps in this show!?
Here comes this bad dude Nephrite. He’s like, 30 years old… or at least old enough that Usagi’s friend Naru keeps referring to him as ‘Mister’. She’s totally in love with this guy and the show plays it off like it’s no big deal.
Wow. Jupiter is a boy crazy little slut.
Sheis hilariously obsessed with boys… always falling so in love with the next guy she sees because he “reminds her of her past love”. She seems to like every guy she sees.
So Worth It
There came a point in the show where I stopped writing down funny things – and it’s because I found myself so deeply interested in watching that I forgot to. Despite all of the crazy things, there’s this oddly magical point in Sailor Moon where all of it falls away and you concentrate on Usagi/Sailor Moon/Princess Serenity and Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask/Prince Endymion (dude… whichever you want to call them). You get really caught up in it and I think that’s what really captures the hearts of girls who watch this show.
It was so worth the watch and I’m excited to move on to the next set of episodes in the series. I think I watched a lot more of Sailor Moon R as a kid and not so much the first series – or maybe I just watched a mixture, because I seem recall the general story but I also watched a lot more involving Chibi-Usa.
When was the last time you watched Sailor Moon? I’d love to know how old you were when you were first introduced and if you still watch it now!