I’ve mentioned before that I have a full time day job where I work as a sales associate and watch repairer of sorts at a jewelry & watch repair company. It’s a neat job – very different from the regular woes of retail in my opinion. It’s the epitome of customer service and the absolute definition of a detail oriented job.
I enjoy the work and for the most part, I sincerely enjoy the customers. My soul finds satisfaction when we’ve fixed a 30 year old piece of jewelry for a customer that came to us in pieces – and not only is it fixed, but it looks brand new again. Seeing their eyes light up and the joy that practically radiates from their face is the ultimate high for my day.
I love and embrace the challenges every day brings. No two days are alike. Today, I might do dozens of band adjustments. Tomorrow, I might work on only one watch and have what I jokingly refer to as “Question Day” where I stay super busy all day and the shop makes very little because I have been diagnosing jewelry repair all day and answering questions. I like that about my job. While I will always have daily responsibilities and designated duties, I face the challenge of figuring out how I am going to accomplish everything I need to do in the span of 7 or 8 hours around work I need to do for customers.
I like what I do and few people can say that. But I also have a unfortunate problem.
My paychecks are making me depressed.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have Jeremy’s job to compare mine to. I make a whopping $8.50 per hour and while I realize that’s above minimum wage, it kills me knowing that I am responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, watches and repair materials every week and yet my paychecks are almost always under $400. Jeremy has this insanely amazing job that is hard for most people to compete with. He has luxuries and privileges that I didn’t even know were a thing.
- He pays more in taxes in a 2 week period than I see on my paycheck.
- His lunch every day he is working is expended back to his company and paid for.
- You need new work boots? No problem! Go buy some and send us the receipt.
- Oh, you didn’t know that you could expend your travel to and from the job site? We’ll go ahead and get that straightened out for you.
- We know your back is hurt – which you hurt during your vacation. We want to see you get better so we are going to fly someone else in to do your job the rest of the week. Have a nice rest and we’ll get in touch with you later and see how you are.
- Hey, we’re all going out to (insert expensive or fancy place that costs $15-30 per plate here). Why don’t you come out and bring Kimi? It’s on us.
I just. I can’t even. I understand that Jeremy is very smart and very deserving of this job. Sometimes he will talk to me about frustrations he may have about a particularly rough day and I have to just sit there and listen and be supportive. All the while, I have no clue what he’s talking about. I realize this is why he makes 5 times the amount I do. But it makes me look at my job and examine my life and feel… very let down.
Have I mentioned before that he’s younger than I am? Not by terribly much. He tuned 28 this past month while I am turning 30 in September. But that just adds insult to injury. How is it that I am struggling like this and he has this amazing job? He even likes his job! So he has all of the above, the better pay, and he actually likes it. I can’t help but compare myself and feel utterly inferior.
I get faced with the need to supply myself with expensive things (by I need, I either mean need or strong want haha). New glasses, a better camera for taking pictures for this blog, a new computer because mine is about to die, a new phone because my refurbished replacement is really struggling. Well Jeremy outright bought me a new camera for Christmas. He paid for the eye exam I needed so that I could order new glasses, which I made an absolute point of paying for myself. Now I need to replace my computer and I know he could just go out and buy it for me – even offered to. But that’s not what I want. I’m pushing 30… I should be able to go out and afford things myself!
It’s important to me that I take care of myself and I don’t like relying on him financially – I already do it too much in my opinion. In my post about The Guy Behind the Blog, Jeremy said “She takes care of her own and doesn’t need me… she just wants me and that’s my favorite thing.” I want him to always feel that way.
But this job. Ugh. I am not making nearly enough money and I am really struggling with it in my heart. Last month when I took a much needed vacation after many, many years of working without one, I decided that this blog was the light at the end of the tunnel. I am channeling all of my leftover energy into it because this is it… this is what I want to be doing.
I’d been strongly considering finding another job and quitting the one I have in search of more money. If I’m being honest, I still feel that urge, but not as strongly. But I decided that I would just keep pushing forward and that the blog and the business I will be building around it would eventually become my focus. Maybe one day I can knock down the hours at my job and spend more time on the blog. I’d really love to see that happen.
But the financial comparison between Jeremy and I is causing me distress. How do you handle it? Does your significant other make more money than you do? I’d love to hear the other side of this too – are you the bread winner? Are you stressed about money because of the tipped scales? Please tell me I’m not alone. Maybe I’m being silly – I have no idea.