Jeremy and I had our first sort of fight last night. This isn’t me airing our dirty laundry – we really don’t have any yet. The point is that sometimes, I forget we don’t know each other very well in all aspects no matter how in sync and well-fitted we are.
If something someone has done (or hasn’t done) is upsetting me, I tend to blow off my steam “privately”. That is to say – I do so behind their back first. I get out all of my anger, nasty thoughts and bitching away from them. Why? Because they probably don’t really deserve it. I have a temper and I can say some pretty terrible things that I don’t mean. And so, I like to get my frustration and bitch fest played out before speaking to the person I’m angry with – it assures that I’ve gotten it out of my system and am much less likely to be cruel or overly confrontational to their face.
We’re having significant issues regarding our apartment. Jeremy got this apartment not long before we met and like most bachelors, he wasn’t really that worried about the little things that were wrong with the place – things like walls desperately needing to be painted for example. So far, all of the issues we’re having are little like that, but when added together? It becomes a significant problem in my mind. I’m a woman… and the concept of this apartment having not even received the standard watered down re-painting between tenants just makes my mind spin.
The next little issue became a big issue when the once loose master bathroom shower tiles fell off of the wall and into the tub. We’re not talking one or two tiles – we’re talking more like 10 to 12 of them. Okay, so I have another full bathroom we can use instead. Life goes on, right? Except the tiles are loose and coming off of the wall in there as well – about 6 of them in various places. It took a couple of weeks before we saw maintenance to fix the master bathroom and we used the guest bathroom in the interim. And then it started – the weird maintenance dance.
They fixed the tile in the master bathroom, but not the also reported loose tiles in the guest bathroom. Okay, no big deal. We started using the master bathroom instead in hopes of the guest bathroom getting fixed next. A month went by and next thing we know, our downstairs neighbor is knocking on our door. Jeremy is in the master bathroom taking a shower… which is apparently pouring water into our neighbor’s apartment. Great. Now we’re the assholes upstairs. Maintenance comes over immediately much to my surprise and they inspect the tub only to conclude that it needs re-glazed because there is a crack in it.
I’m no plumber or anything, but I don’t really understand how a simple re-glazing is meant to address this problem. But again, I’m not a plumber so I am just going to throw my hands back and accept that maybe someone knows better than I do. For a couple of weeks, we go back to using the guest bathroom despite the fact that the tiles are still peeling from the wall. I’m terrified we’re going to have mold – if we don’t already.
To complete the back story of everything going on… I got a hair cut yesterday during my work break. I always change into a different shirt during my hair cut so I don’t get a bunch of hair on my work clothes. But alas, I ended up with some hair caught inside and I was itching and uncomfortable the last several hours of my work day. I mentioned several times how badly I wanted to go home and take a shower. When Jeremy comes to pick me up from work, he mentions that maintenance had been in the apartment and that we couldn’t shower… like, at all.
What!? What do you mean I cannot use EITHER of my showers? What!? I can’t use my sinks either!? What do you mean they didn’t even fix the tiles!? That’s what was wrong in the first place! I’m seething at this point. I’m agitated because I desperately need to shower – to rinse the loose bits of hair that are stuck to my skin and itching. And now I can’t use either of my bathrooms until sometime the following morning (now today). So now I’m really annoyed. It took all of this time to get someone to come to the apartment during a time I’m not busy using the bathroom to get ready for work and now they haven’t even fixed what’s wrong and yet they have prevented me from being able to use either one of my showers or my sinks.
What the actual hell?
My reaction? I’m going down to the leasing office to raise hell and give them a piece of my mind. I don’t feel like Jeremy is being proactive enough because he doesn’t seem to think this is a big deal… or at least that’s how I was feeling about the whole thing. In my mind, he’s blowing this all off and someone needs to step up and be a little bit bitchy. Those feelings prompt my angry reaction and I’m mouthing off about the whole ordeal. Essentially, I’m just talking a bunch of frustrated nonsense and while I mean every word of it, it doesn’t actually mean I am going to go down to the leasing office to yell at someone who may or may not even have the first clue of what is going on in my apartment.
But Jeremy doesn’t know that. I forget that he doesn’t know yet what I am like when I’m mad… who I am when I’m angry. He has no idea what I am capable of VS what I will actually do. In his mind, I’m about to senselessly walk down to the leasing office to scream and curse at people over some bathroom tiles (actually, it’s more like the bathroom tiles, unpainted walls, carpet pulling up from where it meets the kitchen, ceiling popcorn falling down in both bathrooms and closets, a whole spot of plaster missing in the kitchen, severely unpainted doors, and probably some other things that I am forgetting at the moment).
And so we have our first fight… sort of. It was mostly me being passive aggressive, keeping my mouth shut because I didn’t even know what to say and Jeremy staying quiet until I was ready to talk to him again. We were both to blame and I wasn’t ready for us to have our first fight. So I stayed silent for about an hour until I spoke up and asked if we were still fighting. We talked very calmly for about 5 minutes and the whole thing was over. We’re back to making stupid smoochy faces at each other, touching each other’s butt and stuff.
Supposedly, maintenance will be getting these issues fixed soon. For now, I’m going to break down and go take a shower before I lose all sense of sanity.
Have you ever had apartment trouble like this? I’m sure you have and more. Leave a comment below and tell me how you would deal with this situation – I’d love feedback!